Ordinary
by Teenage Mouse
Summary: Arthur is not a nation. He is not a writer, a publisher, a lawyer, a doctor, an officer, a student, a thief, a spy, a prostitute, a pirate, a punk, a teacher...he is nothing special, in any way. He is completely ordinary.  USUK   Implied sexy times.


~ Ordinary ~

Arthur was just ordinary. He couldn't let himself worry about it because it was hardly unusual. Most people were perfectly ordinary and managed to live full, happy lives; they didn't refuse to get jobs, choose a partner and start a family just because they were too busy waiting in vain for something more exciting to come along.

Of course, when he was younger, Arthur had expected the exciting stuff for himself. One day he'd be whisked off to a magical world and meet some utterly unique person and fall in love during the course of a daring adventure. He could just feel it in his bones that this was the future awaiting him.

Naturally, it hadn't happened.

And probably the most insulting part of the whole thing was that _this_ wasn't unusual either: _everyone_ thought they were destined for great things, and ended up settling for something normal instead. The cliché of it all really stung, so Arthur never mentioned it to anyone. He carried on as if he'd always _planned_ on getting his run-of-the-mill job, and renting his small flat, and leading his unremarkable life.

For Arthur was _very_ unremarkable.

He was intelligent, grumpy, honest, loyal, unsociable, reliable, romantic, and a belligerent drunk – but not to such a degree that it made him stand out from the next intelligent person, the next grumpy person, the next honest person... When people described him, it was in the way they would describe anyone else. "You know John Smith: he's the funny guy with the hot tub." "Sarah? You mean the blonde girl who works at the bank?" "Arthur Kirkland…He's the grumpy one with the big eyebrows, right?"

Really, there was nothing that made Arthur stand out as far as personality or appearance were concerned. (For though his eyebrows may have been enough for some people to give him a second look, usually two was enough, and it was nothing you couldn't forget.)

There had been that point in sixth form college when he realised he was gay. Suddenly he had been full of hope. This must have been what was wrong, what was holding him back all this time! Now that he knew who he really was, surely his life could actually begin, and all those exciting things he dreamt of could finally happen!

Except it turned out that life had already started, and there was no convenient checkpoint where he could sign in with his newfound identity and try again from there. What he'd had all these years stayed with him, but now he had new baggage to carry on top of it.

University had been fun enough, but he hadn't met any lifelong friends or found a long-term partner to remember fondly afterwards.

Again, it was the idea of the non-existent checkpoint letting him down. He'd thought university, at _least_, could be a fresh start. Everyone had told him it would be. He'd been promised that there would be people there he could relate to, who shared his ideas and beliefs and goals and dreams – and he could finally study subjects he wanted to know, and get a chance to develop his way of thinking and looking at the world. The world would be his oyster and a life of opportunities would unfold before him! God, it was going to be fantastic!

But the classes were dull, he spent his ample free time procrastinating, his essays were only ever mediocre, and the people were just people. They weren't any more like him than his senior school classmates had been, and he found it just as difficult and unrewarding making friends as he always had.

And now that was all over with and he missed it, because his job wasn't even remotely interesting. Forget writer or lawyer or publisher. He didn't work in a field that offered an opportunity to be creative or help people. The company he belonged to was in no way responsible for changing the world outside its own office building. He wasn't even a top-level employee with any sort of leadership or responsibility that might be worth speaking about. No, he just sat there and did his work – and when he went home at the end of every day, it was more than easy to forget about.

He was young and new-ish to the company, but even if he worked his way up he had the sinking feeling that this career path would never make him feel truly fulfilled or satisfied. It was a problem he would have to address at some point, but right now he liked having the money. And he would rather be earning than forging a new path that might lead somewhere even less promising.

And _that_ was a scary thought. Would he end up one of those people who stayed at a job they didn't care about just because it was too familiar to leave? Was he going to get that much more ordinary still?

One thing Arthur _did_ look forward to was finding a partner. He had spent many secret moments wondering how he would meet the person he would marry. It fascinated him, the idea of that first meeting – that meeting where you've already forgotten their name by the end of the conversation and you would never be able to pick them out in a crowd if you saw them again.

But you'd see each other more and more at work or through friends (however this acquaintanceship worked in your particular situation); and you'd start to _want_ to see them more, and feel happier when you did; and one day you'd have to summon the courage to ask them out, and it would be so embarrassing; and you'd have your first awkward date; and then eventually you'd have spent more of your lives together than you ever had apart.

He was looking forward to all that, as slow and unexciting as it would be at first.

And one day Arthur was introduced, through a friend, to Alfred F. Jones.

It was just the sort of meeting he had always expected. A simple, non-comittal, _ordinary_ meeting involving the "Arthur this is Alfred. Alfred, Arthur", and a shaking of hands.

What he had never expected was to fall in love at first sight. There would be no forgetting his name or face once they parted today, of that Arthur was instantly certain.

Of course he had always enjoyed reading about it, and thought it was lovely, but he'd never actually _believed_…

It was somewhere around his third date with Alfred – six days after they met, and five days into their relationship – that he realised just how bleak his outlook on life had been up to that point.

He hadn't known he was thinking all those things! All the stuff about being hopelessly ordinary; how he was hurt by the fact that he never got his exciting adventure; the fact that he was let down by his university experience; his dissatisfaction at work…He hadn't even realised he was bottling all that up inside! He hadn't realised it had hurt him so much.

He and Alfred were soon making love – not just having sex, but really making love to each other and holding nothing back because they didn't have to be like that with each other – and when he was snuggled up against Alfred's side afterwards he was free to let it all out.

"I didn't know I was so unhappy," he said, hands pressed against Alfred's bare chest, face nestled snugly near his collarbone and just breathing in the scent of him, so soothing to his soul. "God, everything seemed so _awful_. I was miserable at the thought of having to be ordinary forever. Miserable! I'd felt so trapped and I didn't even know it!"

Arthur spoke the words as if he were surprised that he could ever have felt that bitter – and he was relieved and distressed in equal measure to realise that a lifetime's worth of pain was already dissolving into lost memories.

Alfred was resting his cheek against Arthur's hair, arms wrapped around his lover and rubbing his thumbs into his warm skin to comfort him. He knew he didn't need to say anything, because Arthur liked to talk things out aloud in order to make sense of it all to himself. It was a new experience for him, having someone to talk to, so Alfred let him have it.

"And then I met you and I just…just fell in love, Alfred. Like _that_! I didn't realise I didn't believe in love till I met you, Alfred." Alfred squeezed him tightly, to show he had plenty to say on the subject of love as soon as Arthur was done. "I thought it would be a matter of finding someone and settling like I had to do with everything else but this…_This_! I don't even believe it! How can I _have_ this? This doesn't even _happen_ in real life! I've got _you_ and we're _together_ and it's all so ordinary and…I'm not worried about it. I'm not worried about it at all! I don't _care_ that it's ordinary because this is wonderful. I didn't realise that…I didn't realise that "ordinary" could be wonderful, Alfred, but it is, it's just perfect. God, I hope it stays like this forever."

Arthur snaked his arms up and around Alfred's neck to draw them even closer together, and Alfred took this as his cue.

"Well, we have to get you a new job first," he said, in his warm, American accent that sent Arthur's head spinning when it came from so close by. "You obviously don't give a shit about accounting and that's no way to live. You deserve better than that, Artie, and the world needs more out of you than the hours you can put in on a weekday. You could really contribute to something, Arthur. And we'll find it, don't you worry."

Arthur smiled into Alfred's neck, and was sure they would, too. He felt so motivated, just from this simple pillow talk. He was going to work hard at something, tire himself out living up to his full potential, and it was going to be fantastic.

"And you know," Alfred continued, "I know where you're coming from on that 'ordinary' stuff. When I was a kid I thought I was gonna be a superhero when I grew up. I mean, I was _convinced_," Alfred chuckled, and Arthur smiled back, out of sight. "I just didn't feel like I was normal; I thought for sure I was gonna end up getting superpowers somehow, and then go off on this awesome adventure and meet my soul mate and save the world. I know a lot of kids probably felt like that but I just…_believed_ it, you know?" Arthur closed his eyes to lock in the feeling of how much he just _loved_ Alfred at this moment. He was determined never to forget it, because Alfred deserved to be worshipped.

"And I'm not gonna lie, it would be cool if that still happened," Alfred smiled childishly into Arthur's hair. "But it wouldn't change what I really want now. I want _this_ to be my life. I don't even need the superpowers: everything I've got is just awesome. It's all totally normal, and kid-Alfred never would have understood how I could be happy like this but…I'm glad I've changed. I'm glad that I've grown up and have this life, so I can find out how happy it makes me. Because _this_ is awesome. If I could have _anything_ I'd want this. With you."

Arthur needed him so badly right now.

It was an ordinary situation: two new lovers in bed together on Friday night. But this time, 'ordinary' didn't mean 'inadequate.' It meant that Arthur Kirkland was free to lean up and kiss Alfred F. Jones. They were free to make passionate love again and hold each other all night long, and in the morning they could wake up and do whatever they wanted, and they _would_ because they _could_.

Because their lives were ordinary.

And it didn't feel like giving up this time. When he was younger Arthur had had to _resign_ himself to living a normal life, and it had felt so _wrong_. It was hard to be content with what he had because he wanted…something _else_.

Now he had exactly what he wanted. Like Alfred had said so wonderfully: if he could choose anything, it would be this. It wasn't what he originally wanted, but thank God he wanted it now, because it made him happy like nothing else ever would.

It was still ordinary, of course. It wasn't 'something _else_,' it was what plenty of other people had. It was still nothing that would excite people's interest if he told them about it, let alone keep them on the edge of their seats.

And yet somehow the world felt entirely different.

Finding happiness like this wasn't 'settling', he realised. It was liberation.

Suddenly he was free to enjoy reality. He didn't have to wish for something impossible to come along, because he was happy with what he had. So, so happy. Like Alfred had said, he was glad he had changed when it meant that he could enjoy _this_.

The world around him no longer felt inadequate: it felt full of possibilities and joys just waiting to be discovered. And his life may have been full of ordinary parts, but it was still unique because it was a life built of the parts he and Alfred had chosen. Together. And everything they wanted with which to build it was right there waiting for them, because it was all ordinary, all possible.

He was so lucky, Arthur realised. Not everyone could find the magic hidden in the ordinary, as he had been lucky enough to do. With Alfred's help.

Lucky. He was so lucky.

Ordinary, it turned out, was a blessing.

* * *

><p>AN: I know it's kind of wordy, and it's certainly not the kind of thing I would usually enjoy reading myself. But I wanted to write something where Arthur _wasn't_ special.

Fanfics are all about putting the characters in interesting situations and exciting settings. Even when they're normal people, they still tend to have good jobs or some unique aspect in their life that provides lots of drama.

But I wanted to think about what Arthur would be like if he was just _anybody_. No fancy job, no skeletons in the closet, no uber-tsundere-ness. Just totally ordinary.

I think he wouldn't be satisfied. He would keep calm and carry on, but he would never feel complete.

But one day he meets Alfred, and realises that true love is possible, and so everything else he's always dreamt of must be possible, too. And I think it would really change his life, to realise he can make decisions and choices and _aim_ for something, rather than just settle for what's available.

I didn't want to imply that Arthur falls in love and that's enough for him. I wanted to show how falling in love would inspire him and help him spread his wings (Britannia Angel 3) – make him finally find happiness in the world around him, and help him see the potential in himself and the life he leads.

Hopefully I got the message across. Don't want it to be too depressing!


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